2015年9月17日 星期四

Fun with English Writing (6)

27. Fun with English Writing (6)

【英文寫作的樂趣】

46)  Men are fighting creatures toward one another. They fought for mates as a matter of course.
Improvement:creatures fighting one another. 
*Men are creatures fighting for one another. They think of fighting as a matter of course.
【註解】:fight可作vt或vi; fight with/ fight for/ fight against…等,但不用fight toward. 另前句用現在式,後面用fought,時式不一致
建議更正: Men are creatures fighting one another. They think of fighting for mates as a matter of course.
【中文】:男性互相爭戰。他們把爭奪婚配伴侶視為理所當然。

47)  Pretty soon many men will have to go through silk road to mid East for brides, where many Islamic women lost husbands for holy war of Islam.
Improvement:go via, Middle East. for brides宜調至句首
建議更正: *For brides, pretty soon many men will have to go via silk road to Middle East, where many Islamic women lost husbands in holy war for Islam.
【中文】:
為了討老婆,很快地許多男人不得不經絲路到中東去,因許多回教徒女性的丈夫死於回教聖戰中。

48)  Don't worry God on earth was a bachelor, his name is Jesus. 

Improvement:Don’t worry. God (is) a bachelor, and His name is Jesus.
【註解】:原句子共有三個獨立子句,竟缺少連接詞
worry + about +受詞 (為某事操心) ;God上帝,怎知是凡俗的或天堂的?God應不分地點。 原句先用過去式,後用現在式is,前後不一致。基督教徒信天父是不朽的(immortal) ,故時式應皆用現在式。
建議更正:*Don’t worry about that.  Because God is a bachelor, and his name is Jesus.
【中文】:別操心。上帝是光棍,名叫耶穌。

49)  I'm sorry but I prologize for any inconvenience caused you.

Improvement:but I apologize應省去,因be+ sorry for +事,即含o致歉之意。【註解】caused you應去掉you,因其為caused之前省略了(that is ). 若用cause+Obj. It causes pain to others. 另cause 可接to+V: It causes him to come late.
建議更正: I am sorry for any inconvenience (which is) caused.
【中文】:若因此造成不便,本人謹致歉意。

50)  Hopefully this is going to go through okay.  Please let me know if this creates more problems.

Improvement:okay去除;改creates為causes
建議更正: *Hopefully, this is going to be OK. Please let me know if this causes any more problems. (或..if there are more problems caused)
另註:be going +V, 最好避免接go的動詞片語:例:
He is going to go to school. 不如說, he is going to school.
【中文】:希望這次能成功傳出。請告知是否有困難。

51)   Flying from Shanghai to Kaohsiung one year, I tried to transport way too much stuff from my Shanghai home to the Kaohsiung home. 

Improvement:one year ago;to have … shipped (transported);home in Shanghai;home in Kaohsiung
建議更正: Flying from Shanghai to Kaohsiung one year ago, I had too much baggage shipped to my home in Kaohsiung.
【中文】:一年前我搭機從上海回高雄時,我托運太多東西從上海的家到高雄的家。

52)   I had lost the cell phone six months earlier.

Improvement:before
【註解】: six months earlier提早六個月,six months before, 乃six months ago之過去式 -早在六個月前
建議更正: I had lost the cell phone six months before.
【中文】:我六個月前就掉了手機。

53)   I actually did fetch this phone although by that time,  the phone had became useless to me.

Improvement:recover
【註解】: fetch = to go after and bring back: it’s time to ~ someone for help. 該找人來幫忙了。recover 有失而復得之意,find找到
建議更正:Although by that time, I actually recovered this phone, I did not need it any more.
註:although是連接詞應接子句。原句用it became useless to me,彷彿手機壞了,作者原意應是『用不著』。
【中文】:雖然之前我取回了手機,但已經沒有用了。

54)  My computer has been inflicted with multiple problems and has been undergoing continuous "cleanup".

Improvement:infected;virus;clean-up
【註解】: inflict vt. 精神上的加害痛苦;改用infect v. 有感染之義。problems則指一般難題,用virus較好,undergo = experience= go through經歷
建議更正:My computer has been infected with multiple virus and needs continuous cleaning-up.
【中文】:我的電腦已中了許多病毒,並須持續加以清除。

55)  In those dreaming days, I merely searched for what felt right, considered being realistic kind of vulgar.

Improvement:days of dreaming;what I felt right;and considered
【註解】: dreaming days= days for dreaming用來作夢的日子? what引導的子句中缺少主詞,consider vt. 直接接kind 作其受詞,kind此處是a kind of (一種) 或kind of多少,意思交待不清楚
建議更正:In those days of dreaming, I merely searched for what I felt right, and considered accepting realistic, and vulgar things.
【中文】:在那些作白日夢的日子中,我僅尋找感覺對的事物並且考慮某些實際的俗事。

Brush up your English!

Justin Lai (賴正雄 ) 撰

09/14/15


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