2015年9月17日 星期四

Fun with English Writing (6)

27. Fun with English Writing (6)

【英文寫作的樂趣】

46)  Men are fighting creatures toward one another. They fought for mates as a matter of course.
Improvementcreatures fighting one another. 
*Men are creatures fighting for one another. They think of fighting as a matter of course.
【註解】fight可作vtvi; fight with/ fight for/ fight against…等,但不用fight toward. 另前句用現在式,後面用fought,時式不一致
建議更正: Men are creatures fighting one another. They think of fighting for mates as a matter of course.
【中文】:男性互相爭戰。他們把爭奪婚配伴侶視為理所當然。

47)  Pretty soon many men will have to go through silk road to mid East for brides, where many Islamic women lost husbands for holy war of Islam.
Improvementgo via, Middle East. for brides宜調至句首
建議更正: *For brides, pretty soon many men will have to go via silk road to Middle East, where many Islamic women lost husbands in holy war for Islam.
【中文】:
為了討老婆,很快地許多男人不得不經絲路到中東去,因許多回教徒女性的丈夫死於回教聖戰中。

48)  Don't worry God on earth was a bachelor, his name is Jesus. 

ImprovementDon’t worry. God (is) a bachelor, and His name is Jesus.
【註解】:原句子共有三個獨立子句,竟缺少連接詞
worry + about +受詞 (為某事操心) God上帝,怎知是凡俗的或天堂的?God應不分地點。 原句先用過去式,後用現在式is,前後不一致。基督教徒信天父是不朽的(immortal) ,故時式應皆用現在式。
建議更正:*Don’t worry about that.  Because God is a bachelor, and his name is Jesus.
【中文】:別操心。上帝是光棍,名叫耶穌。

49)  I'm sorry but I prologize for any inconvenience caused you.

Improvementbut I apologize應省去,因be+ sorry for +事,即含o致歉之意。【註解】caused you應去掉you,因其為caused之前省略了(that is ). 若用cause+Obj. It causes pain to others. cause 可接to+V: It causes him to come late.
建議更正: I am sorry for any inconvenience (which is) caused.
【中文】:若因此造成不便,本人謹致歉意。

50)  Hopefully this is going to go through okay.  Please let me know if this creates more problems.

Improvementokay去除;改createscauses
建議更正: *Hopefully, this is going to be OK. Please let me know if this causes any more problems. (..if there are more problems caused)
另註:be going +V, 最好避免接go的動詞片語:例:
He is going to go to school. 不如說, he is going to school.
【中文】:希望這次能成功傳出。請告知是否有困難。

51)   Flying from Shanghai to Kaohsiung one year, I tried to transport way too much stuff from my Shanghai home to the Kaohsiung home. 

Improvementone year agoto have … shipped (transported)home in Shanghaihome in Kaohsiung
建議更正: Flying from Shanghai to Kaohsiung one year ago, I had too much baggage shipped to my home in Kaohsiung.
【中文】:一年前我搭機從上海回高雄時,我托運太多東西從上海的家到高雄的家。

52)   I had lost the cell phone six months earlier.

Improvementbefore
【註解】: six months earlier提早六個月,six months before, six months ago之過去式 -早在六個月前
建議更正: I had lost the cell phone six months before.
【中文】:我六個月前就掉了手機。

53)   I actually did fetch this phone although by that time,  the phone had became useless to me.

Improvementrecover
【註解】: fetch = to go after and bring back: it’s time to ~ someone for help. 該找人來幫忙了。recover 有失而復得之意,find找到
建議更正:Although by that time, I actually recovered this phone, I did not need it any more.
註:although是連接詞應接子句。原句用it became useless to me,彷彿手機壞了,作者原意應是『用不著』。
【中文】:雖然之前我取回了手機,但已經沒有用了。

54)  My computer has been inflicted with multiple problems and has been undergoing continuous "cleanup".

Improvementinfectedvirusclean-up
【註解】: inflict vt. 精神上的加害痛苦;改用infect v. 有感染之義。problems則指一般難題,用virus較好,undergo = experience= go through經歷
建議更正:My computer has been infected with multiple virus and needs continuous cleaning-up.
【中文】:我的電腦已中了許多病毒,並須持續加以清除。

55)  In those dreaming days, I merely searched for what felt right, considered being realistic kind of vulgar.

Improvementdays of dreamingwhat I felt rightand considered
【註解】: dreaming days= days for dreaming用來作夢的日子? what引導的子句中缺少主詞,consider vt. 直接接kind 作其受詞,kind此處是a kind of (一種) kind of多少,意思交待不清楚
建議更正:In those days of dreaming, I merely searched for what I felt right, and considered accepting realistic, and vulgar things.
【中文】:在那些作白日夢的日子中,我僅尋找感覺對的事物並且考慮某些實際的俗事。

Brush up your English!

Justin Lai (賴正雄 )

09/14/15


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